I need more tea

I have recently come to the conclusion that I am desperately unhappy. Sitting at my desk surrounded by damp tissues and mug after mug of tea I have come to the conclusion that I am not where I want to be in life at all.

Where I would like to be in life is working in a bakery back in England, working towards one day having my own cupcake shop. Where I actually am is a soulless city in China struggling for a degree I don't want with my entire family's expectations weighing me down.

It's got to the point where the only thing keeping me out here is the fact that if I move back home, drop out and so forth, is that it will screw up my parents holiday plans for next year... and I get the feeling that that should not be the only thing keeping me going. I shouldn't be sitting here in what the years above us have called the best year of uni with a page constantly open on my computer telling me when the next flight out of Shanghai to Heathrow is.

This isn't me being home sick, I don't get home sick apart from when I get sick of being at home, this is me realising my life is going in a direction I really don't want it to go in.

Trolling or Some Bizarre Form of Performance Art

Sym had gone out to drink so Jirair and I decided to be cruel, as fun as it was I do get the feeling that Sym is plotting our demise at this very moment...

[00:18:56] Jirair: Sym?

[00:19:01] Thais: just out of interest

[00:19:33] Jirair: becuase we were wondering aloud

[00:19:52] Thais: about certain aspects of certain things

[00:20:24] Jirair: involving some personal matters

[00:20:42] Thais: involving you and Kit

[00:21:18] Jirair: and the nature of your relationship

[00:21:38] Thais: you know, the bit with the riding crop and whatnot

[00:22:57] Jirair: the asymetric distribution of initative stuff

[00:23:24 | Edited 00:23:43] Thais: more simply put; the D/s element

[00:27:42] Jirair: you see since I noticed you were short a few flatmates, and well there is a corrolation with some data of an internet format

[00:29:42 | Edited 00:29:57] Thais: a very good source of infomation, as we all know that fic does not lie and only exists to better the world

[00:32:36] Jirair: Well basically we wanted to know. Has you sexual relationship ever included hints, themes, elements, aspects or evidence of cannabalism?

[00:33:38 | Edited 00:34:31] Thais: This can of course involve, but not be limited to, any non-accidental form of bloodplay etc

[3:08:36 AM] *** Call ended, duration 7:56:36 ***

[3:13:20 AM] Sym: .....

[3:14:01 AM] Sym: what is this

[3:14:04 AM] Sym: I don't even

A Lesson in The Non-Sequitur

2:14:49 PM] Thais: boo

2:22:33 PM] *** Thais sent

2:44:42 PM] Jirair: the problem with your ship is that it wouldn't be nearly drunk enough to excuse it

2:45:06 PM] Thais: :P

2:45:08 PM] Thais: call?

2:45:27 PM] Jirair: gonna find some lunch first

2:45:58 PM] Thais: :P talk in a bit then

2:50:43 PM] Jirair: da

2:50:53 PM] *** Call from Jirair ***

2:52:07 PM] Thais: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUYnECca8LU

3:13:00 PM] *** Conference call ***

3:13:00 PM] *** Thais added Oxxy ***

3:37:37 PM] *** Oxxy sent EnviroBear2000.rar ***

3:49:13 PM] Jirair: Kit enjoys lots of strange things, ducttape bondage, wearing panties, Sym, ect...

3:52:11 PM] Thais: cause jensen finally accepts that he's a werewolf and said i love you to jared!

Thais: haha yay!!

Thais: its very good

Kit: i know!

Kit: its fluffy

Thais: it is!!!

Thais: fluffy!

Kit: i like fluffy

Kit: sym couldn't pry me away last night XD

Thais: haha

Thais: oh dear

4:08:39 PM] Jirair: on the plus side dads doing something with epoxy filler, so hes probably a little high on the fumes. he'll probably just assume he misheard

4:23:41 PM] Oxxy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrqxR2LZBNA&feature=autoplay&list=AVGxdCwVVULXdva4XbnPoqA7emI9bXzebN&lf=list_related&playnext=3

4:30:59 PM] Oxxy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4kVWDldBUQ&feature=autoplay&list=AVGxdCwVVULXdva4XbnPoqA7emI9bXzebN&lf=list_related&playnext=1

4:38:31 PM] Oxxy: http://wellthatsadorable.com/post/725760186/hippobabymama

4:39:28 PM] *** Oxxy sent

4:57:34 PM] *** Thais added Kit ***

4:57:45 PM] *** Thais added Sym ***

5:05:31 PM | Removed by Thais, 5:05:39 PM] Kit: This message has been removed.

5:08:01 PM] Oxxy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChgvPTVpbzs&feature=related

6:05:24 PM] *** Sym sent

6:35:30 PM] Oxxy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=l6BlH-

ZC5P0

7:28:28 PM] Kit: thaaaaaais

7:28:39 PM] Thais: yesssss

7:28:44 PM] Kit: why hold?

7:28:51 PM] Thais: ...

7:29:02 PM] Jirair: LoL

7:29:08 PM] Thais: because you two are making me want to kill lol

7:29:18 PM] Kit: Kit hugs the Thais

7:29:21 PM] Kit: apologies

7:29:25 PM] Kit: its our bonding time

7:29:26 PM] Thais: internet murder on a global scale

7:33:30 PM] Kit: unmute

7:33:32 PM] Kit: we are done

8:09:42 PM] Oxxy: herro?

8:17:34 PM] *** Oxxy sent

8:53:14 PM | Removed 8:54:10 PM] Kit: This message has been removed.

8:53:46 PM | Removed by Jirair, 8:54:10 PM] Kit: This message has been removed.

9:21:40 PM] Kit: http://e621.net/post/show/129871/2010-alien-bioware-breasts-commander_shepard-fanar

9:24:58 PM] Thais: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve1X9zSloiU

10:08:15 PM] Thais: http://tinyurl.com/6vodaee

11:25:32 PM] Jirair: http://www.tomshardware.co.uk/

Tuesday

[12:08:53 AM] Oxxy: http://www.buzzfeed.com/sigmund/the-11-bestworst-vagina-tattoos-of-all-time-do-n

[12:13:18 AM] Oxxy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFA-rOls8YA&feature=related

[12:16:00 AM] Oxxy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZsKqbt3gQ0&feature=relmfu

[12:20:53 AM] Thais: http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_337007&src_vid=UcTLJ692F70&feature=iv&v=WA4tLCGcTG4

[12:32:59 AM] Jirair: http://imago.hitherby.com/2004/02/a-story-with-marketable-action-figures/

[12:35:29 AM] Jirair: http://imago.hitherby.com/2004/01/gandalfs-secret/

[1:07:15 AM] Jirair: It is usually quite surprising when someone sticks a fundamental

building block of reality inside you. You will just be driving along, or

whatever, when suddenly BAM, you’re Storms. Or Fire. Computers.

Dogs. Backsies†. Fleece. Or Love.

[1:11:42 AM] Oxxy: http://thisistheverge.tumblr.com/post/14103212970/star-trek-tng-ambient-engine-noise-idling-for-24

[1:20:53 AM] Oxxy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JnkMyfQ5YfY

[1:46:32 AM] Jirair: The creature hesitates a long moment, then shrugs. A bony finger taps the seat belt. Sparky buckles up. The car starts again. He drives. “Los Angeles,” says the Witch-King of Angmar. “We are going to Los Angeles.”

[1:50:22 AM] Jirair: The Witch-King sighs. “It’s not like that,” he says. “We had something real. She . . . didn’t have to hang out with me. She couldn’t eat me. I don’t have any good meat.”

Quietly, he sings.

You came and you gave without takin’

But I sent you away, oh Shelob,

You kissed me and stopped me from shakin’

And I need you today, oh Shelob

“She kissed you and stopped you from shakin’?”

“Yah,” he says, lost in memory. “She used a paralytic venom.”

“Oh.”

He smiles.

“Wait,” Sparky says. “Just where did you two kiss?!”

[1:55:27 AM] Thais: [01:53:15] Poor innocent: haha

[01:53:24] Poor innocent: can u hear the froggong rain?

[01:53:46] Thais: what is froggong?

[01:54:38] Poor innocent: frigging******8

[01:54:58] Poor innocent: i genuinely googled it then and i realised id written it myself :\

[01:55:03]Poor innocent: i need sleep haha

[01:55:14] Thais: haha

[1:58:34 AM] Thais: The act of downloading a video from youtube or another video site and then posting it again from your own account, often in lower quality and with annoying music in the background.

The reason why froggers do this is unkown, although it is possibly to increase hits to their account or because they gain pleasure from annoying people. A large amount of frogging has been traced to mainland china.

[2:15:24 AM] Thais: odd thing with my stuff is that i have now developed an irreversible shoulder blade kink due to bloody wing!porn

[2:22:26 AM] Jirair: http://www.xkcd.com/

[3:34:57 AM] Thais: http://tinyurl.com/c4pw5u4

[3:35:18 AM] Thais: ‘That is not a dog, that is a beast from the ninth circle of hell. Demon Dog!’ Chad yelled out

[3:52:11 AM] Jirair: fortunately you're not as weird as this lot, there are whole freaky cults, obscure chemical processes and several small planets out there less weird than this lot

[4:06:57 AM] Thais: I’m sorry I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that I am either insane or the dog that I have been taking care of for two months now just turned into a man in front of me.’

‘I know this is heard but I want to explain it.’

‘What is there to explain? Who does stuff like this? What answers are there for this? I’m crazy. I’m insane. I am going to have to sit in a rocker chair and eat green jello for the rest of my life.’ Jared started talking animatedly to himself completely shutting down and shutting Jensen out of the conversation.

[4:08:00 AM | Thais: Jared normally didn’t keep alcohol in the house but there was a nice bottle of Jim Bean in the back of his cupboard and it had his name on it tonight. He felt vindicated for it I mean how many people had to deal with their dogs turning into nude men over night?

[4:14:13 AM] *** Call ended, duration 13:01:14 ***

[15:56:59] Sym: http://www.megatokyo.com/scr33n/scr33n_2009-09-14_12726.png

[15:57:02] Sym: thinking cap of cute

Anon

Umm yeah, so here is the the fiction I threatened promised I would put up here eventually, re-edited it a bit, should I write a full story from this, let me know, also should I post it on fictionpress.com or my livejournal as well...ooo all the ways to embarrass myself by putting my writing on the Internet...

So without further ado:

Anonymous

We are myth and folklore: denounced as superstition by modern minds; logic has no place for the fantastical. But fantastical is what we are, we who hide in shadows and live by moonlight, what need have we of logic. That is how I thought when I was newborn, but back then the mortals had less need of logic, they knew of us, knew our names, and they feared the darkness. Since then almost two millennia have passed and the mortals have brought light to our world, forcing those of us who still survive further into the shadows, we are now the anonymous.

There was a time where you could find tales of my exploits across most of the world’s continents; my name and description used to terrify men insatiable enough to cruelly take their satisfaction. I suppose in my early centuries I saw myself as an avenging angel, protecting those who sold themselves from the cruelties some men delight in. I have always had a soft spot for courtesans, I personally think it is due to the fact I am named after one, not that my parents knew that or would have approved of my behaviour during those years. Not that they approved of my behaviour while I was still with them, eighteen and still unmarried. At a young age I knew that as a girl I was already cast as a caregiver, forced to be subservient to a man, both of which I now laugh at. To avoid this I put about rumours that I was cursed; by the time people had started discrediting them I was past marriageable age. But then my sister died. Leaving behind her an indifferent husband and two children in need of a mother. I was offered as a second wife, someone to raise his children and, although it was never said where I could overhear, someone to warm his bed. Even back then, in a time where the feelings I harboured would not be recognised for what they were, even by me, I knew I did not want to be bound to any man, which I suppose made my final choice as a mortal all the more odd.

My name has since been lost to history, some folklore student or researcher might stumble across it in some old text but never with enough information to make it interesting again. However, in the old countries, in the towns that have stood in place for over a millennia, down some twisted alley you may find a man or woman of the night offering a prayer to their Queen, asking for protection of one form or another, but they do not know my name or my face any longer, they pray to the memory of a legend. I do not reveal myself, no matter the temptation; it is safer to be anonymous. Anonymity for us is; to flit through someone’s life as no more than a shadow, two small puncture wounds and an hour’s memory loss. Anonymity is survival and the darkness has embraced it.

We no longer have need of names, we are known simply by title or ancient reputation, I am the Queen and Goddess, both titles as one; the dead of night personified. There is the Sovereign, the twilight walker with a taste for royal blood, the first of us to rise, but the first to succumb to the harsh light of Apollo’s chariot. And finally the Knight, chivalrous and noble at first, swift glance, but the virgin blood which stains his hands is as multiple as the fading stars which mark his realm. Our names are known only to us three, whispered during the hours of darkness lest we forget. The names our Father, our Lord, gave when our hearts where newly dead, when we were his to rule. But what dominion holds the darkness in this age of logic? We embrace the darkness, we are the anonymous.


labeling this I realise how many things have managed to slip into 700 words of writing....

Goodbyes

It's only a few more days before I disappear off to China for six months, so (not that I update often) I won't be saying much for that length of time, not that I won't attempt to get on my blog from China, only that due to some of the more dubious rants I have probably inaccessible/disallowed content on here... oops.

I might shove that bit of fiction I was threatening to put on here up before I leave but don't hold your breath, you might not be able to release it till this time next year when I remember that I ever wrote it.

Love you all

Thais

xxx

Stones

As no one reading this will know, I am about to embark on a D&D campaign...yes I know uber geek here. Anyway the guy who was explaining to me the very baisics of how to play was warning me about paying too much attention to the DM (person who runs the campaign and baisicly invents the world and events) as it could mean ending up with pointless equipment which takes up space and weight. The example he used made me chuckle so I have decided to reproduce it for you :)

DM: *rolls* Frank, you trip over a stone.
John: Hey pick that up you never know it might be magical!
Tim: Can't someone cast identify on it?
DM: None of you are a Wizard
Frank: No because even after two of us chose Ranger and Barbarian someone chose to be a Bard
John: Look are you going to pick it up or not??
Frank: Fine, I pick up the stone.

*three weeks later*

DM: Your party come across a group of Goblins, you are severely outnumbered.
Tim: You guys know how to get out of this?
Frank: Hey maybe that stone I picked up will help, I won initiative, I throw the stone *rolls die* cool I got 19
DM: You sure you want to throw the stone at the goblins?
Frank: I got 19 of course I do!!
DM: Fine you throw the stone, it hits the lead goblin on the forehead stunning him.
Tim: That worked well, good roll!
John: Hey that must mean the stone you tripped over was a Stone of Stunning !
Frank: Cool, I'll use it again
DM: You guys are idiots...

Considering putting another of my slighly dark bits of fiction up here, might not, need to descide whether i can leave it as it is or need to add to it.